She said her name was "party"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Found the puke drawer
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
