I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
