I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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