Define "chronic" masturbator.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I believe in your delicious
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
