I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
