He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
