his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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