turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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