So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
