I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
