problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
bring money and cleavage
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize