Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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