I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
