Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
