I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
