So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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