She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
