just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
