Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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