dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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