After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize