just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We were destined to go to rehab together
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
