I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
