R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
