Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
