kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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