Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
