I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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