Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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