I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
