i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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