I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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