Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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