Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
