It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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