What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
