We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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