Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize