Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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