why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
