In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize