I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I want to make a zoo with you.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
