i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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