We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
