what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
