she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
