And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
