I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
