That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
