i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
