Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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