how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
