dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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