can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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