her vagina looked like bernie madoff
only you would photoshop your dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
