This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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