Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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