ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize