You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
